Wednesday, March 24, 2004
The FAT of It
Last night I was watching the local news, which has become my new favorite thing by the way, and they did a special on a new diet craze. At first I was pretty excited as I am always looking for a new and creative way to shed a few excess pounds.
I was introduced to My Pet Fat.
Upon first glance, my pet fat looks pretty cute and lovable. I mean it’s like a little friend that you can carry around in your back pocket. I immediately wanted to buy one for everyone I knew. But as the news story continued, I became increasingly grossed out and ultimately offended. And as we know, it takes A LOT for me to become either grossed out OR offended.
My pet fat is actually a plastic blob that is supposed to represent the fat gunk that resides in your legs, ass, or in my case, the mid-section. The blob is yellow and looks like the fat particles you pulled out of that frog you dissected in 11th grade. It is absolutely disgusting. The best (worst) part is that the yellow fat has bloody veins running through it to remind you that what you are looking at is essentially your own body. The purpose of this product? To remind you that when you are shoving Snicker’s Bars and Donuts in your face, those delicious treats are eventually going to become your own Pet Fat, cept it will be resting idly on your body. This product is supposed to gross you out and remind you that you shouldn’t be eating anything that tastes good.
The idea itself is not totally ridiculous. I mean, some people might really like to buy the 1 ounce Pet Fat to leave at their computer; its beedy eyes staring at you every time you take a bite of that greasy (wonderful) cheese pizza. I am sure that if I had a 5 pound glob of lipids in my lap, I might vomit everything that I put in my mouth. So you see…pet fat could really work. If you’re into that sort of thing.
The end of the news segment is what really pissed me off. On top of advertising this repulsive product, the reporter included various clips of obese people walking around the city. And yes, they showed their faces. In the background the voiceover was saying something to the effect of “If this is you, you may really want to consider buying yourself a pet fat. The summer is coming and it’s time to put on those bathing suits. The best way to look good in that suit…carry a pet fat with you as the constant reminder of how lazy your eating habits have become.”
Excuse me?
I’m sorry, but in my opinion, it’s about fucking time that we lay off the weight issue. I mean, McDonald’s is cutting out their “Super Size” meals because America is too fat. Airplane services try to charge overweight people two fares because they claim the seats aren’t big enough for their ass. Atkins, The South Beach Diet, liquid diets, Trimspa…fucking enough!
Truthfully, obesity is the number one most preventative killer in the United States. But does that mean that America has to go to great lengths to make overweight people feel bad in the process? Carrying a few extra pounds sucks for the individual as it is; combined with the fact that everyone else can see their issue as it’s displayed prominently on their body. They have no way of hiding this problem.
I want everyone to mind their own fucking business. It’s not like overweight people don’t KNOW that they are on the heavy side. It’s not like overweight people are ENJOYING being on the heavy side either. Let’s take a collective agreement to let people be the way they are. If overweight individuals want to lose weight, let them do it on their own. Let’s stop making judgments on everything and everybody. Let’s stop criticizing. It’s like none of us can be happy unless we point out the misfortune of others. It makes me sick. Sicker than when I was looking at My Pet Fat.
Now, time to go plunk down $100 so I can have the biggest pet fat available! He’s going to look so cute dressed up as a sailor on Easter.
Last night I was watching the local news, which has become my new favorite thing by the way, and they did a special on a new diet craze. At first I was pretty excited as I am always looking for a new and creative way to shed a few excess pounds.
I was introduced to My Pet Fat.
Upon first glance, my pet fat looks pretty cute and lovable. I mean it’s like a little friend that you can carry around in your back pocket. I immediately wanted to buy one for everyone I knew. But as the news story continued, I became increasingly grossed out and ultimately offended. And as we know, it takes A LOT for me to become either grossed out OR offended.
My pet fat is actually a plastic blob that is supposed to represent the fat gunk that resides in your legs, ass, or in my case, the mid-section. The blob is yellow and looks like the fat particles you pulled out of that frog you dissected in 11th grade. It is absolutely disgusting. The best (worst) part is that the yellow fat has bloody veins running through it to remind you that what you are looking at is essentially your own body. The purpose of this product? To remind you that when you are shoving Snicker’s Bars and Donuts in your face, those delicious treats are eventually going to become your own Pet Fat, cept it will be resting idly on your body. This product is supposed to gross you out and remind you that you shouldn’t be eating anything that tastes good.
The idea itself is not totally ridiculous. I mean, some people might really like to buy the 1 ounce Pet Fat to leave at their computer; its beedy eyes staring at you every time you take a bite of that greasy (wonderful) cheese pizza. I am sure that if I had a 5 pound glob of lipids in my lap, I might vomit everything that I put in my mouth. So you see…pet fat could really work. If you’re into that sort of thing.
The end of the news segment is what really pissed me off. On top of advertising this repulsive product, the reporter included various clips of obese people walking around the city. And yes, they showed their faces. In the background the voiceover was saying something to the effect of “If this is you, you may really want to consider buying yourself a pet fat. The summer is coming and it’s time to put on those bathing suits. The best way to look good in that suit…carry a pet fat with you as the constant reminder of how lazy your eating habits have become.”
Excuse me?
I’m sorry, but in my opinion, it’s about fucking time that we lay off the weight issue. I mean, McDonald’s is cutting out their “Super Size” meals because America is too fat. Airplane services try to charge overweight people two fares because they claim the seats aren’t big enough for their ass. Atkins, The South Beach Diet, liquid diets, Trimspa…fucking enough!
Truthfully, obesity is the number one most preventative killer in the United States. But does that mean that America has to go to great lengths to make overweight people feel bad in the process? Carrying a few extra pounds sucks for the individual as it is; combined with the fact that everyone else can see their issue as it’s displayed prominently on their body. They have no way of hiding this problem.
I want everyone to mind their own fucking business. It’s not like overweight people don’t KNOW that they are on the heavy side. It’s not like overweight people are ENJOYING being on the heavy side either. Let’s take a collective agreement to let people be the way they are. If overweight individuals want to lose weight, let them do it on their own. Let’s stop making judgments on everything and everybody. Let’s stop criticizing. It’s like none of us can be happy unless we point out the misfortune of others. It makes me sick. Sicker than when I was looking at My Pet Fat.
Now, time to go plunk down $100 so I can have the biggest pet fat available! He’s going to look so cute dressed up as a sailor on Easter.
